-humanity

~slowly... but surely... i am losing it...

~why... do_shite... naze...

+rhythm emotion

~feels like dead man walkin' ... lolx... the undertaker rocks btw

~anyway, running every alternate day seems to be taking my life out of my soul... but too bad.. the army requires that...

~it is as though my heart is splitting... perhaps i ain't condition to be good at exercising... but i was in table tennis... but then again, my coach says i am like a wooden block... that explains why i ain't movin' well and having loads of stamina i guess...

~table tennis... hmm... still my favourite... although i can no longer... play.. at will...

~it feels as though fate is cruel yet kind... like a rhythmic emotion playing on my strings of life...

~anyhow, the food at a restaurant i went to today with my family sucks... big time... and the bill = $123...

~gettin' a new computer soon... guess i am an addict...... no kickin' anytime... but am still restricted... to .. -

~had weird dreams recently... dreamt of getting married and have kids and watch the sunset from a peaceful setting away from all the wars of reality... it was surreal... kind... pleasant... and bee-ee--a-- utifulll~

-solitudes

~reflections... as more poured in... it feels like an eternity of solitude...

~the same night, replaced by the same day...

~perhaps its time to move onto the next phase of life...

~perhaps...

~but what can be made out of this unknown future?

~thats life i guess... thats life...

~age... it causes changes... it changed me... a whole mile... it changed everything around me..

~it made me realise, that life goes on... regardless...

~so whats the whole idea behind life? how did it start? what is its causes... how does it end? i wonder...

~maybe its a better idea to be born at a much later timeline... maybe in the future, it would be the space era... where humanity would not have suffering, regrets, and complains...

~perhaps the future may be the life i seek... for i am lost... now... in a world of dreams... the world that i want...

~my world...

-it seems

~it seems so yesterday....

~suddenly i felt i am no longer young.... 14 years old i was watching gundam seed... and it seems like it was yesterday... but... its been 8 years....

~what have i been doing this 22 years on the planet? i don't really know... its been staring at the same night sky... always... it seems ... ... ...

~time goes by.. life goes on.. nothing stops... i wish to evolve mankind. bring it to the next generation. probably space age...

~too much time of man has been spent on unnecessary things... too much...

~maybe i didn't want to advance mankind... i wanted to advance only to go back in time... ironic...

~i want the technology to go back in time... i missed so much... even now... still... lost... much...

~the past... my past... mine... lost... why...

~living... am i ? ... .maybe not... but i am...

~this affliction destroyed everything... even now... yet i still soldier on ... in hope that one day i am free of its clutches...

~its turning better now.. although this war has ravaged much of the lands... my future? is any left? ... perhaps a kind soul ... would seek that little remnant ... and remind me i am still living...

-hmm 7

~hmmm.... my dad says the family is in tatters... hes probably right..

~there issn't much communication between us... except me and my bro... talking crap all day...

~then we have warring factions in the familiy ... haix ...

~i guess every family has its ticks. ..

~in retrospect, i can't believe i have lived on this earth for 21 years. ...

~it seems.s... long .. ....

-craziness

~this is crazy... the amount of shit that i have to study and do is over the hill... madnessssssss

-over at last... or not... ><

~finally... after studying like mad for like 3 weeks straight... tml will mark the end of the mid terms...

~the stupid thing is that.. my bro just told me my other module got another mid term... WTF...
too free nothing to do, keep giving us test test TEST TEST TESTTTTTTT...

~omfg... deaded... yea... dead-ED... the new form of DIEd real bad...

+SCALAR PRODUCT !!! ><

~SIANZ DIAOZ!!! OMFG>..<... zzzz

~i tot scalar product is always POSITIVE>...,,, shittt man.... the lecturer kept reminding us its A NUMBER ... omfg... so i tot its always a positive value since it is a magnitude OMFG...OMFG OMFG OMFG

~what a cheap point to waste in the stupid test.... ARGHHHHHH study like mad just to tumble at such a stupid little mistake!!!!!!!!!!

+MOMENT OF INERTIA

~OMG OMG OMG... Moment of inertia I... wth............

~memorize memorize memorize........ until want to die liaoz....

~why can't they give it as a formula list!!! OMFG>..<

~btw.. .its a full moon tonight... so beautiful...

~too bad its shying away from us at around 3.8cm per year

+can't sleep

~can't sleep well again...

~again the 4am nightscene is beautiful

~its tranquility mystifying

~the cool air fills me

~its good to know that i am still alive

-Fly by

~sent yunjie off to london for studies on sunday

~realise that singapore ain't half bad after all... just that we always see the other side as the greener pasture

~over time, too much condemning of singapore somehow makes it condemned. apparently, singapore is as good as it gets... maybe singapore is good after all...

~anyway, friends are like fleeting acquaintances. they come and go. but when good friends go, its nostalgic. at least we had a good chapter in our life before.

~contrast to the way friends function nowadays.. they take on a whole new meaning... and i think the real meaning of friends have been eroded.

~it seems like acquaintances are now considered friends too... even when all you know about the other dude is the name only... people act as though they know each other for ages...

~is this socializing? or is it the way people save themselves from what they are so afraid of... the fear of being alone... that is...

~so thats the reason they make "friends" in case they are viewed as a loner? a pity i suppose? i dun know... maybe i am clouded in my own judgement too... maybe...

~but again, in life, you gotta hold strong to your believes... for if you don't believe yourself, nobody would believe in you...

~rightly so, i believe that i should live the life i want, not live the life that people and society conform me to.

-my career?

~as much as i condemn teachers... apparently i am walking down that path

~it seems so surreal that i would engage teaching as my career... lolx...

~maybe i wanted to be a teacher all along...

+lost in translation

~people who are lost in life, tend to think more about life.

~they probably treasure life more and not take things for granted.

~if you are lost,
make sure you find your way back to shore,
because life is not repeatable,
you only get 1 shot.

~To all the lost souls out there, no matter how dark it is , no matter how isolated you are, swim back to shore, for when you see the lighthouse, all will be worth.

~me? i hope i am at the coast already... but apparently the waves are still dragging me out to sea... hopefully i get saved and return to the shore once and for all

~anyway... i realise

楊宗緯-對愛渴望

very nice :))

-fallen from grace

~you who have fallen from grace will understand the meaning of suffering

~undertaking a one way train from heaven to hell...

-transition state

~sad. minimum point.

~nothing express hatred growing

~deserves better normal

~all ask for why seems impossible

+100 +

~100 PLUSSS!!!

~crap... i forgot how to solve quadratic equations liaoz... i only can do brute force complete the sq at the moment.. shit...

stupid crap... my facebook and blog still down... how come? i wonder why... denial of service atttack?

+screwed--to

~i am dead... 4 hrs to solve one stupid physics question...

~either i am rusty or i am really not there yet...

-what deems safe, hurts you most

~made a discovery... that would prolly change my life for good...

~perhaps what i hold so dearly to, might just turn out to be the killer that has been turning my life upside down.

~trying to drop this shit now, hope its not too late, and praying for it to work

-... why ...

~why the fuck does it keep coming back... to haunt my sorry ass...

~issn't it time to leave for the better?

-Count on me singaporeee

~count on meeee singaporeeee.....

~count on me to give my best and moreeeeeeeeeee... together singaporeee...

~SINGAPORE>.....<

+OMGGGGGGGGG>>>>>>> FKKKKKKKKK

~screwed up QET.... got a band 4... fk.. have to take 1 english academic course... onmg .... 6 modules in 1 sem... fking pack timetable... WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

~ i just need band 5 to escape the fury of hell.... why can't give me 5.... omgggggggg screweeeeeddddd

-Solar eclipseeeeee

awesomeeeeeeee.... tml must wake up at 8am to catch it ...

although singapore only can see about 10% darkness....

the next time singapore sees 100% will be during 2168... meaning i won't be able to see le.. T.T

+harrrrryyyy pottterrrr

~potterrrmaniaaaaaaaaaaa

+Atelophobia

~... wtf...Atelophobia

+darkness (the absence of light)

~there's no dark, there's only the absence of light... or so they say...

~well... i liken myself to draco malfoy... in the 6th book... where he is portrayed as a sinister darkened shade of his former already pale self...

~its dark... and thats my life... dark...

+the reason

~i finally manage to grasp the reason for why i play games... albeit peripheral

~its to escape from the harshness of the reality... into a controlled virtual world where its much more enjoyable... free...

+officially screwed

~dead.... screwed.. (fill in your own description here)...

~omg... i screwed up QET><.... english lessons here i come...

~5+1english module in sem = 6... omfg... 6 will kill me.... bad...

~FKING HELL>>>> WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

-wish

-i wonder if i should...

~anyway , hbd... hm-c....

~i hate the pathetic-ness in me

+another day of bedbug

~another one found, another one disposed

~i fking hate them... so persistent in irritating my family...

~as persistent as a bedbug lolx

-OMG QET + CORS = knockout

~formula of the day : QET + CORS = knockout

~its a god dam headache...

~i just saw the QET format... its 15 marks for stupid editing , 15 marks mcq for comprehension

~and a god dam 70 marks for GP essay writing of 500 words

~i am so screwed... i know nuts about GP... especially H1N1... if they should set that as the topic... oh gosh...

~CORS is a freaking headache man... clash here clash there , no modules, no pre-requisite etc... fk...

-choices

~some people choose to face adversity with zest

~some choose to face it in the dark

~some chose to avoid it to prevent war

~some chose to adversity consume them

-while

~all the while.... the war never ceases

~people my age think about how to enjoy life

~i think about how to sustain my fragility...

~so pathetic...

+the letter that changed/will change my life

~

Dear Guofeng,

We are pleased to inform you that your appeal for a change in course has been successful and you are now offered admission to the Science course in NUS for Academic Year 2009. This offer of admission to Science will supersede the earlier offer to Computer Engineering.

~

OMG OMG OMG OMGO MOMGO GMOGMOGMGOMGOGMOGM...... EUPHORIA>>> Ecstaticism>> ELATED>>> JOY AND WHAT NOT >>> OMG >>>

~felt a wave of happiness that swept aside all the shit i am feeling...

~felt like i had a new aim in life, to learn more about the universe and what not

~AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SO HAPPPPPPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

-looking to the next dawn 下一个天亮

~下一个天亮

~詞：姚若龍 曲：陳小霞 編曲：洪敬堯&謝明祥 主唱：郭靜

用起伏的背影 擋住哭泣的心
有些故事 不必說給 每個人聽
許多眼睛 看得太淺太近
錯過我沒被看見 那個自已

用簡單的言語 解開超載的心
有些情緒 是該說給 懂的人聽
你的熱淚 比我激動憐惜
我發誓要更努力 更有勇氣

等 下一個天亮
去上次牽手賞花那裡散步好嗎
有些積雪會自已融化
你的肩膀是我豁達的天堂

等下一個天亮
把偷拍我看海的照片送我好嗎
我喜歡我飛舞的頭髮
和飄著雨還是眺望的眼光

用簡單的言語 解開超載的心
有些情緒 是該說給 懂的人聽
你的熱淚 比我激動憐惜
我發誓要更努力 更有勇氣

等下一個天亮
去上次牽手賞花那裡散步好嗎
有些積雪會自已融化
你的肩膀是我豁達的天堂

等下一個天亮
把偷拍我看海的照片送我好嗎
我喜歡我飛舞的頭髮
和飄著雨還是眺望的眼光

時間可以磨去我的稜角
有些堅持卻永遠磨不掉
許容許我 小小的驕傲
因為有你這樣的依靠

等下一個天亮
去上次牽手賞花那裡散步好嗎
有些積雪會自已融化
你的肩膀是我豁達的天堂

等下一個天亮
把偷拍我看海的照片送我好嗎
我喜歡我飛舞的頭髮
和飄著雨還是眺望的眼光

-emofication to the power of gazillion

~god knows how many times i go on the emo route liaoz....

~but i still haven't get derailed yet... still on this long lonely lunatic track...

~emo emo emo.......... why.... emo.... again... why.....

~my mom just left for work at 6.37am...

~i felt her ageing effects... its as though time sped by again....

~i always remembered the times from long ago, fondly so...

~i realise that a lot of things are taken for granted

~simple things which we can do to help others are often not done

~perhaps we should ask more of what we can do to offer than take

~crap... now i can't upload photos... something's wrong with blogger

-robinsssonnssssssss

~sale of 80%%%%%%%% + 10 if you safra...

~wah.. but the goods there on sale is even more wahhh.............................(meaning not good...)

~oh well, still spent 114 bucks lolx.... i am a freeloader and a freespender....

~looks like i throw the most money compared to tsp's 80+, clement's 40+ and lao da's 100+

~after that went wcg but realise we were in time for the ending ceremony.... fk... lolx...

+transssforrmeerrrssss

~action from start to end... not bad

~but watching from cinema like abit big screen and too close to screen... make my neck and eyes strain to watch properly...

~michael bay guo ran bu chuo ^^

+slacking days

~back to the best ^^

-7 sins

~pride
~envy
~lust
~gluttony
~greed
~sloth
~wrath

-radical hatefultism

~i have become a hateful person...

~filled with anger and hatred...

~always ready to condemn rather than think for others...

~am i ready for the dark side?

-so god dam tired

~its so freaking tiring... i dun noe why... lethargic

-parting

~i kind of feel sad... cos my course ended... will miss the people there... especially the lecturer... he's a humorous guy... ^^

~well... it just ended... 2 months i think... hmm...the final exam was tough anyway... it was like a tee kum session...

~studying will make sure you don't fail, but thats about it...

-BIG DAY TOMRROW EXAM!

~after studying like mad for 72 hrs or so, i think i am prepared...

~i think... i can't even say i am... oh man... fking tough module...

+k to the rythem

~lolx went kbox today with clement,sp,lag lolx funnnn but XXXXXXX T.T broke... again...

+my eyess..... no....

~when i was young, my eyes will miraculously heal itself ... hence i wasn't short sighted...

~i always had perfect eyesight 9/9... or was it 6/6... wadeva...

~now... i think i am getting old :X... i start to see blury things le... nooo....

~studying made me go short sighted too i guess... since i started picking up books from the library in 21 years lolx...

-the meaning

~if you have money, you can seek material pleasure

~if you have health, you can seek world-ly joys

~if you have neither, you can seek redemption through constant struggles

+beautiful

~i fking love this song... i sort of relate well to it... sang by christina aguilera... awesome singer... awesome song...

~you are beautiful.... no matter what they say... their words can't bring you down.... not today.....

~went to "celebrate" papa and bro's bdae today... just a gathering that is scarce in recent times...

-groggy time

~we all livee in the yellow subbbmarineeeee yellow subbmarineeee yellow subbmarineeeeee...

-emofication

~its not my wish to emo... but i don't think its anybody's wish to do so either

~dreams make a big part of me, although they mostly remain as dreams...

~i am incapacitated... i viewed myself as that since 12...

~its important to live your 1 life to the fullest... but what can i do when i cant' do it.. i can't...

~why? ... when... will i be alive again... this struggle is just too much for a kid of 21... all i ever wanted for christmas,newyear,bdae,wadeva special day, is to be alive. alive being very much vague... but it will be in me forever... it probably will stay within me for my life, until perhaps someone comes along the way to spare me of this sadness...

~its true that listening to sad music instils sadness and loneliness in you... i agree... CHM... i agree...

~i had the dream again today... about CHM... its just weird... why would i dream of someone when i don't even think about anymore... it doens't make sense... is it reminiscence time? even though i thought we had great times but i wondered why it still lingers within my pathetic brain cells...

~do dreams really tell a story? if so... then what? it just halts my march to carry on living and force me to reconsider my past... time machine is always needed in my life...

~if you ask me the question of "if i could live my life again", i would prolly live it so different that angles will protrude over 360 degrees.

~i dun even know what i want or what i am gunning for even now... i am 21....i just seem to be losing track of time... it only seem i was 18 yesturday... everything seem so distant now...

~army makes me realise i am human afterall, not lost in my own time...

~sch makes me realise i am a kid afterall, not free to do what i want

~Health, the almighty breaker of my life, probably made me realise that without health , money won't really make your world go round... it just stops and jerks and make your ride in life bumpy as hell...

~time flies... it really does... i hate to know it... i hate to admit it... but i realise it does fly...as much as to my dismay... sch was really great... meeting up with friends and classmates and doing shit together... it was awesome... now, its like its gunning for the workzone lifestyle... competition being key... bell curve to determine your fate... etc... its all unhealthy to me... its stress inducing... and it sucks to the core...

~i like history, computers, astronomy.

~history has too much writings involved... maybe i was only interesting in the war especially the romans kicking ass all over europe....

~computers was too technical... too much 101010101 code stuff etc... maybe i was only interested in the games...

~astronomy was too unknown and too much physics... which i happen to excel in... and i love the unknown and the heavenly bodies... it was prolly the best course for me... too bad i wasn't accepted thx to my lousy maths grade of donkey...

~i got sucked in computing now... and i think its going to be a wrong choice for me seriously... i would really thrife to do well in maths in alevels if i had the chance to relive again... and i will make dam sure i get into the dam astronomy course in NTU... well life isssn't a bed of rose is it... it never was... never will be...

~i am probably anti life... i hate life... even though i would very much like to love it... i just wasn't been able to do so... its draining the life out of me... its draining my sanity... its just hard... but... theres probably a whole score of people who have much worse circumstances to face with... but everyone is unique... nobody wants to be a commoner... we only have 1 life... its impt to live it up... although fate is unique too... it binds your destiny from start to end... it leaves you with no choice but to live whats uniquely planned for you... i guess thats unique too lolx... .

~anyway i just hope that the earthquake in me will stop soon forever... its just wreaking too much destruction... to the point of no return... getting the external helps may help for some, but some will just make it worse... i just don't know how to face adversity anymore... its going to be the 10th anniversary of adversity soon... and i ain't celebrating ... the war is far from over ... and the odds of winning aren't good... it issn't even relieving... its damming me... it hurts even more when people stabs those daggers into your very existence... not knowing that they have dropped nuclear bombs on me... but they just continue to do so as if USA were justified to drop those on JAPAN... its just so wrong... to me at least....

~adversity is soemthing which has claimed much of me... i haven't been able to defeat it... i am starting to lose faith in that... is it really necessary for me to have a religion to place my faith in and to tide me over this horror? i dun noe... the sanity is just blurring now... i no longer have the ability to make a decision... everything seems to be the wrong decision... even if 1+1 was 2, it might turn out to be a god dam window without the top and bottom pannels in my life...

~i hate this sinking feeling.. and it always starts when i have a dream of CHM...

-Free my ASS

~sony ericsson's playnow offers free songs for download right? WRONG!

~FK SE... BULLSHIT... i paid a total of $444 bucks for the month from 18april to 17may...

~FKING HELL... free songs but the download bytes count for money... and it sums up to $5 bucks per song... so wtf is the difference... FK SE FULL OF SHIT...

+the dumb and the dumber

~my father likes to play dumb with me... and i enjoy playing dumb back with him...

~no hard feelings... just that it pricks my skin ... its not comfortable..

~i have like an angel and a demon beside me...

~the angel tells me to be more understanding, and give it to me dad

~but the demon tells me to do things that i condemn myself for lolx... its interesting lolx

~normally the angel wins... but when he plays dumb with me, the demons always win... lolx....

~lolx... this is lame... prolly... at 21... its lame alright... i agree its lame...

-determination

~talk about determination... i simply lack that... quitting maple again after 2 days lolx

~lag/d/c/inflated economy... etc etc etc.. reasons

-Faggody hellish crappy shit

~in a shitty mood now... cos i slept at 12am ytd, and woke up at 4am... now its going 5am ... wth...

~i can't sleep... my whole body was itching like mad... i wonder what i ate or what i did...

~maybe its the dam bed bug attack again... for i had 3 bites in a row.. typical of bed bugs...

~shit... the war is starting...

-MAPLE STORY

~omg... you didn't see wrongly... its maple alright...

~even i am amazed by my decision to go back and play this game lolx

~oh well, its not bad though lolx... i am a pirate now... lolx nice class shooting the shit out of everything...

~i felt the same sensation of gaming addict overwhelming me again... lolx... but i will make sure this time the game is to kill studying stress and not kill time....

~pirate in E server... i dunno whats the E server called .. oh its eridanus... hmm

- departure

~the sudden possibility of losing someone close is daunting...

~it came down hard on me... it made me realise the realism of the reality

~in need to grow up real fast, out of the safety zone, the protective barriers, the comfort of home.

~life is fragile, it makes you appreciate what you have... what you could have... what you didn't have

~i am starting to see a new light... perhaps its time to treasure the stuff around you, before you or they are lost, for eternity...

-eeriness... change... revolutionary

~awesomely revolutionary change... i lost interest in gaming for the first time in 21 years...

~thx to? university's awesome module workload... :X...

~i read the course notes from morning to night and i finish 10 page... only.. woo... i am dead

~dun noe why , i think my new interest/hobby is studying... reading... gunning for As... first class honours... i am going to do it.. at all cost lolx...

~but i really hope this feeling fades after some time... i guess i got suffocated by sch.. since i took a break of 2 years already... its back... i am back... alive... and kicking !

-w705 sony ericsson !

~whooo new phone w705...

~although i was waiting for the w995... which is the complete version of the w705...

~but when it comes out in a few months, the price will be a bomb... crappy...

~so i settle for the w705... 200bucks OMFG.

~still trying out the dam playnow plus function... it says its free, but after all the download/surcharge/gstshit and what not/ i think will add up to an album's cost lolx!

+phone of freedom

~time to change phone to signify my release from the abyss

~i will prolly get the sony ericsson w705... hope i dun regret... although the reviews say w995 is much better... but its coming out later, and its dam x... lolx

~table tennis and bb whole day today... tired like shit... lolx shit? ... ok tired like fk...

-uni life = busy

~crap... i just looked at the forum online, and everyone talk like they major in that topic... holyshit... i know nuts about my module...

~looks like its going to be dam a lot of reading to do and hell lot of studying and talking in the upcoming years...

~oh me god... how i wish i was still on holiday omg

+pearl harbour - there you'll be

~sad and touching show

~after watching it, i realise maybe its high time to grow up

~rafe is a nice name btw

~beautiful song too

-sch blues

~sch starting soon... tuesday... noo.... end of the longest holiday in my life before i work my ass off

-evaluation doomathon

~fail bte, fail fte... wth... what the holyshittoooo lolx

~crap why i keep failing evaluations... screwed up

-tuition grant

~sianz... can't find my form, cannot download from pre-registration webby too

~call them they say send me email, but haven't received yet

~si liaoz si liaoz...

-short live-d~

~the longest holiday is coming to an end soon.... crap

~when sch starts, it will mark the longest journey till work and retirement...

~haix... crap...

-bed bug mayhem

~fk ... its 1am now... and i ain't sleeping yet...

~or rather i woke up after sleeping for 1 hr...

~thx to fking bed bugs... and a mosquito...

~screw it... tml gonna join the extermination of them

-self destruct

~shit, i am taking the bait and falling into this dumb trap again

~its destruction on myself again

~fuck

+marathon table tenis

~1pm - 7pm... awesomeee.e..e.

~now my whole body suan like hell... can't go swimming the next few days liaoz lolx... later drown

~too bad got kids there... had to play with them.. kind of like recreation table tennis

~i need a need net though.... and my balls are dented or pi cha already lolx

+milk thistle

~lets hope this stuff ends it all

~holyshit i just watched finish gundam 00 season 2... awesomeeeee!!!! weee~~

-chorey

~eating seems like a chore nowadays... ( did i post this before? i wonder)

~i seem to be having short term memory... i dun remember shit for nothing -.-

+phobia

~what do you call someone who is afraid to cross the roads?

~crossophobia? or roadophobia? lolx

~anyway, after watching the videos the instructor showed at bbdc, about cars wacking one another , and smashing people to bits, (yes smash) i think i rather use the god dam over head bridge than cross a dam junction packed with mons-cars everywhere :X

-gundam 00

~went swimming today... kids and senior citizens seem to favour fridays as lessons :X

~anyway, gundam 00 was awesome.... but then again, most new gundam series are always awesome... give it time and the hype goes down

~watching gundam 00 season 2 now

-split

~i look at the blue sky, the green trees , the evening glow

~felt the gentle breeze . hear the music of the living

~thought of the ict/ippt, then it screws the serenity up :X

-armgadeon

~woo... the time has come... end the world! end the misery! 3 years is a long wait though ..!

+electric eccentricity

~not conforming to social norms seems the easy way out...

~but i think perseverance is impt

+resurrection

~be a better man

-Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder/Perfectionism (psychology)

~unfortunate to have it, fortunate to discover it

~my world is blacking out... is there a remedy?

-3rd april

~3rd april... just another 3rd april ... nothing special to me...

~just the day i was brought to earth to live , enjoy, suffer , die

~everytime

+programming ftw/ftl

~tried to program some game script today... took out half my life and 3/4 of my brain :X

+fking lazy

~wee... i realise i am fking lazy... like a fking freeloader...

~everyone got a job here and there... shitty pay... some with dam good pay and working conditions... oh well

~its like losing sight of my peers... but ...... bo bian i guess... not that everyone is able in the first place

~sch starting in may... time for sch now ba... screw the jobs... i am lucky maybe... that i dun need a job to support myself atm... lolx ... weeeeee

+weee

~i think i scored 1 ...

~now the score is like 200 - 1 lolx

~oh well... at least i scored

-healed shit

~i tot it healed... but it came back to haunt me

-bali

~sucky trip... nothing interestingly interesting

~met a jackass there... moronic bastard

~i won't go bali again i guess, even if i was paid...

-reservist.. waseh

~sianz diaoz... here comes the pain lolx

-sianz diaoz... i realise

~i realise i might have chosen the wrong course in uni ... TT

~crap shit... i am computer engineering...

~its a mix between computer science and electrical and computer engineering...

~wah la... jack of all trades , master of none... shit

~i think i actually wanted communications and media... oh well.. crapp.... i wonder if i can still change now... haix...

+sorey eyesss

~sianz diaoz...

~went back to play a bit of dota... and got sore eyes for the matter

~haix

-lohengrin

~sianz... i got hit by a lohengrin-like blast from the solar celestial today...

~fk... its burning inferno for a moment... hope it cools down asap

-counter attacking day 1

~time to embark on this mission to end the 10 year and counting, long journey ...

~i hope i emerge winner.. cos if i lose its over

-mixed like shit

~to you, i may be anti social

~to me, i am anti existence

~nobody will prolly understand the shit phase i am in

~i dun even understand why i am in this never ending phase

~i just hope it gets over as soon as possible... its a torture... to everyone

~its prolly living each day and counting your feathers...

~i have not been myself for god knows how long... prolly even i don't know ...

~hurting others have not been my will , if i did ... pls forgive me... i am at wits ends

~time will heal the wounds... but mine will not be complete ... if only it reverses... then there may be hope

-Christ and the code

~is the da vinci code true? is christ not divine?

~oh well, critics will go on forever and ever

~if you won't believe in what i say, and i won't believe in what you say, whats the point of arguing

~anyway my bro converted the christian when he felt an immense love filling him up

~well , today i felt an immense love of the same magnitude when i did something i ought to have done a long time ago. i helped ah ma apply aloe vera on her forehead lolx ... i realise that gaming has robbed enough of my life, time to see the greater good in life

~gaming as a past time is prolly ok , obsession will get you no where though lolx...

-shit

~people say money ain't impt, but everyone still needs em, or loves em

~should i conform or be a radical ... in a mix

~perhaps i am a victim of my own judgment

-fate

~not everyone believes in fate

~i dun. but i hate to believe in it

~i wonder what i did in my previous life to desire all this shit i am getting

~maybe its my current life...

~you who have not experience hell will never know its agony...

~is agony one of the 7 sins? its dam painful... worse than pain if you ask me

~the world is unforgiving... making it worse...

~such suddenness in its arrival that it blacked me out in a flash...

~kept hanging on the thin line of hope that it turns well

~its killing me... its killlinggg meeee

~smacked between unfortunate and fortunate is agony... you don't know whether to just die off or live fruitfully

~perhaps rolling a dice would be easier... but thats being weak.. i am weak... i dun even have a dice to throw...

~life goes on ... i guess.. on and on... on... on... i failed the trail... if thats whats planned...

~just give me salvation... end my torture pls... divine if you may be

-bbdc

~first day first lesson at bbdc...

~i was so fking tired after watching soccer ytd that i ko in classs.... fkk waste my time

~it was more of a talk cock session and less of a knowledge intensive stemming though

~went with soon peng and his sis sok ting

~ate bread for lunch TT screw the number of people there -.- . they need a bigger canteen

~saw eugene when i was coming back... its a small world after all

~went to get a haircut before i became a caveman lolx

-crap :X

~i tik i almost confirmed my worst fears...

~i get turn off by ......

~holyshit... am i really ...

-fairy tail

~fan boy stuff!! ^^ i love it

~prolly the best manga of recent times

~YOU say it besttt, when you say nothing at allll

-tired

~so tired i slept 12 hrs today... wtf

~people say sleep long , also will get tired, sleep less also dam tired... so how? moderation is hard man haix

-reminiscence//present

~found some old pics and it was sweet memories ^^

~this was during my MU online days lolx. sec and jc i think

~taken with soon peng haha... sweeetttt







~this was a recent photo, taken in rappelzSEA... with my guild mates lolx... sweeet

-drunk

~it sucks to get drunk

~it sucks even more to get hangover

~... that feeling really sucks like sucks

-pendulum

~when will i stop swinging..

-maybe its me

~after blaming almost everything and everyshit there ever was in everywhere... i realise that... maybe i am the cause the reason the end... zzz.z.z.z..z weird... this sucks...

~rappelz rappelz and more rappeling i guess... at least ... they drop me 3 yeti card liaoz lolx... too bad i failed two... noooo lost 20m...zzzz

+happy chinese new year

~but what about those who aren't happy? sad chinese new year?

~i realise maybe i am spoilt... yea... i am spoilt crap...

+double fun double madness

~going down the same route that blew up life topsy turvy again.... wth am i thinking lolx...

~guess its called addiction

~rappelz is fun... especially when you find people who are worthwhile in this game

~furthermore its sg based... lotsa people from your region... not like that of us servers... lag.. lag...lag... lag...and more lag... and full of shit people in there... crappy

~i wonder how long this body can last... prob going down again... since i chose it over health... bad? dunno.... hope not..

-my eyes...

~sore... tired... red ...strained... screwed... dam...

~how fortunate some peopel are ... yet how unfortunate some are

+back to gamin

~addiction! its hard to kick... sucks ...

~on a better note, its PASSION!

-hmm 100

~getting worse again how come?

-the bane of me

~unstable

-the success of failure

~i realise that admitting your failure is your first step to success

~learnt that from playing rappelzSEA and watching a million star! ( CHAO JI XIN GUANG DA DAO )

~i realise i am falling in love with yoga lin! he rocks! he is truly unique, not like kaya JAM and assy ASKA lolx!

+how much/ i dun want to close my eyez

~how much i wish to do, but i can't

~how much i want to go, but i can't

~how much i thought i could, but i can't

~how much it seems easy, but its hard

~how much i want to say, but i can't

~how much it sux, but theres nothing much i can do

~maybe i should stop finding fault with my pathetic wasted self

~anyway, a quote from the girl who died from cancer recently, shandy's blog's friend's sms (yea many 's lolx)

~"Fear is finding fault with the future. If only we could keep in mind of how uncertain our future is, then we would never try to predict what could go wrong. Fear ends there."

~you know, sometimes you have to know about the misfortunate before you can appreciate being fortunate

her experiences has certainly taught me about the greatness/sadness of what life offers

many people cry over small, minute, unimportant things, and usually forgo the bigger picture.

she has definitely taught me that the world doesn't revolve around me, but instead, i revolve around the world.

thank you for your spirited inspiration and may you have a deserving "future" :)

-2009

~new year new start

~my wish: give me back what i have lost